SMaKChicks (smakchicks@aol.com) did spew forth to USENET:
: I know you browze this board. just checked out surfing the internet. a
: better guide to the net hasn't been written. dare I say a better book
: hasn't been written? quashes all notions of anti-intellectual
: masturbatory, pimply-faced hackers dominating the net.
: a most sincere and boot-licking thank you from a newbie who will surely be
: flamed to a crisp for even posting.
: love ya, mean it,
Really? You really mean it?
I'm so grateful, I think I'll write a dissertation.
Long ago, in the Land of B1FF, there was an evil sorceror named B1FF.
Unfortunately, B1FF (the sorceror) had such a communication disorder that
he couldn't chant his sorcery correctly, and all of B1FF (the land)
suffered under his evil rantings.
There appeared one day a magical being who had been on vacation on
Neptune and had with him a small supply of Grep. This Grep was surely a
magical substance, and B1FF (the sorceror) knew that he needed to procure
some if he was to solve his problems and truly rule B1FF (the land) well.
B1FF (the sorceror) approached the magical being and asked him to give
him some Grep. The magical being thought carefully and replied "I think
that the Cubs may actually win this year."
B1FF (the sorceror) was startled by this pronouncement, and retreated
to his chambers to ponder the words of the magical being. Later that day,
B1FF (the sorceror) set out into B1FF (the land) to rediscover the
magical being and again entreat him to give him some of the magical Grep.
When B1FF (the sorceror) had found the being, his only response was
"DOIDY DOIDY DOIDY". B1FF was so overcome by the meaning of this
utterance that he lapsed into a coma and subsequently died.
The magical being again returned to Neptune, and the evil knight called
Sir Furr the Over-Servoed began an attempt at conquering B1FF (the land)
and the whole planet of USENET. The comrades of the magical being stayed
behind and told Sir Furr the Over-Servoed that he was welcome to it,
especially since USENET would soon be destroyed and the loyal would
journey unto the promised world of HappyNet.
Upon hearing this declaration, Sir Furr the Over-Servoed was greatly
disturbed, and set out to the real world to discover it, whilst Sir
Bumgarner the Bold and Unavailable During the Summer did quote Furr in
his signature for a time.
Meanwhile, in the great ARK which the magical being (who was none other
than the magnificent Leader Kibo) had left behind for the loyal, there
was unrest and unhappiness, for the presence of Leader Kibo was sorely
missed, and Lords Richardson and Madison were hard pressed to revive the
populace and remind them of the promise of HappyNet.
When all was seemed lost, there appeared two young knights called
Sir Trask and Sir "Garon", returned from the Marek Wars, where they had
been overwhelmingly victorious. Then, with the power of wit and the
beauty of Terza Rima, the two young knights set to bringing the land back
to its grand state with the efforts of Lords Richardson and Madison.
Thus, with the support of Earl Straight, Lady Wednesday, Duke JayCJay,
Baron Bulhak, Count Ediger, Doctor Lord Science, Baroness Tepper, Duchess
Eli, Baron von Seebach, Duke DeLaney, Lord Lewis, Lord Louis, Lady
Higgins, and the odd but seemingly sincere assistance of the almost
foreign Herald The BOB(c), the loyal were able to focus their attention
once again on the shining hope that was HappyNet.
THE END
The BOB(c)
The Most Dangerous Man on USENET
From taco.cc.ncsu.edu!gatech!news.mathworks.com!news.kei.com!nntp.et.byu.edu!netline-fddi.jpl.nasa.gov!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!decwrl!tribune.usask.ca!news.sasknet.sk.ca!rover.ucs.ualberta.ca!alberta!falun.cs.ualberta.ca!dpapp Thu Jun 8 09:30:05 1995
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